As the self-appointed president of my new Park City Family Values Party, I was concerned about Leslie Miller’s provocative avian entry in your April 2-4 paper, “Wild Seeing,” about greater sandhill cranes.
Wild indeed! I quote: “The crane’s first act after reaching sexual maturity is a distinctive dance … as they encircle their mate ….” I’d blush if I went on!
Next follows: “Chicks eat on their own immediately” and, “When the following breeding season begins, parents … drive away their offspring. The young cranes will join other juveniles for a two- to four- year period.”
Itinerant birds engaging in seductive and promiscuous public behaviors, ignoring their young offspring, then casting them out to wander homeless in unsupervised adolescent gangs engaging in who knows what kind of delinquency. These impressionable youths inevitably go on to emulate their parents’ promiscuous dances and ribald acts.
Additionally, the author admits these birds sometimes come across our southern borders, I assure you undocumented, evading authorities. We may need a bigger wall, and a higher wall.
I recommend these birds self-deport. DOGE says this will save taxpayer money on flights since the cranes can fly on their own. But we must act quickly, for rumor is the wily cranes are planning on escaping to where they will be harbored … by the other enemies on our northern border!
Brooks Bloomfield
Park City