It’s fair to say that typically one does not write a weekly opinion column if they are not opinionated. I can develop a point of view on just about any topic — sports, dog breeds, politics, restaurants, paint colors – I’m rarely indifferent. Though when it comes to parenting, I might as well be Swiss. It’s my general rule to refrain from opining on how others raise their children. Mostly because it’s something I can’t relate to, at least not in the way someone who has reproduced can. A childfree person suggesting how someone ought to parent is as advisable as taking a goat to the grocery store. Besides, I’ve never seen anything productive come out of a conversation that begins with, “If that were my child…”
This doesn’t mean that I’m removed from parenting conversations, though. They’re happening all the time all around me. Most of my friends are raising little humans and that’s often what we talk about. My coworkers and clients frequently share stories starring their offspring. And I spend a lot of time with my eight-year-old niece, who occasionally calls and asks if I can be her mom for a few hours or days, depending on how long she thinks it will take for me to say “yes” to something her mom said “no” to.
Observation has taught me that everyone has a unique child-rearing style, and parents often want different things for their kids. And while there might be a thousand different priorities each parent has for their child, one pretty common theme is that every parent I’ve ever known wants their kid to understand right from wrong. I have never met a parent unconcerned with teaching fairness and kindness, nor have I ever heard any of them counsel their children to double down on their mistakes rather than apologize for them.
So why would anyone vote for a school board candidate who seems to exemplify such behavior?
Earlier this month, Mandy Pomeroy, who is running for Park City School Board in District 4, used an image of her opponent Meredith Reed and Reed’s children without permission. When Reed asked Pomeroy to stop using the image of her kids, Pomeroy at first refused. Then said in an interview on the matter, “Meredith Reed and the Democrat Party are embarrassed that my campaign pointed out a truth.”
Which is a really odd retort given the race for School Board is nonpartisan. Pomeroy later agreed to stop using the photo, but only after issuing a statement that it was her First Amendment right to do so. When pressed about the ethics of using a photo of her opponent’s children, Pomeroy said, “Morality is not up for debate.”
Wait, what? Someone who wants to make decisions that will impact every child and parent in the district doesn’t think morals should be part of the discussion? That the legality of an action is the defining criteria for pursuing it?
Lots of things are legal but morally questionable. Lying, cheating on your partner, bullying, sending a misleading text message to constituents that appears to be from the Park City School District and suggests the district is endorsing you, then after getting called out for this, saying you’ll set the record straight with a follow up text but apparently not doing so. None of those are technically illegal, but that seems like a pretty low bar.
A better bar might be setting an example that sometimes we want something so badly we inadvertently hurt people trying to achieve it. If that happens, the right thing to do is sincerely apologize, and vow to do better — not attempt to justify our actions. I might not have kids, but if I did, I’d want them to know there’s value and grace in being accountable for our mistakes.